Allow locking updated tuples in tuple_update() and tuple_delete()

Allow locking updated tuples in tuple_update() and tuple_delete()

Currently, in read committed transaction isolation mode (default), we have the
following sequence of actions when tuple_update()/tuple_delete() finds
the tuple updated by the concurrent transaction.

1. Attempt to update/delete tuple with tuple_update()/tuple_delete(), which
   returns TM_Updated.
2. Lock tuple with tuple_lock().
3. Re-evaluate plan qual (recheck if we still need to update/delete and
   calculate the new tuple for update).
4. Second attempt to update/delete tuple with tuple_update()/tuple_delete().
   This attempt should be successful, since the tuple was previously locked.

This commit eliminates step 2 by taking the lock during the first
tuple_update()/tuple_delete() call.  The heap table access method saves some
effort by checking the updated tuple once instead of twice.  Future
undo-based table access methods, which will start from the latest row version,
can immediately place a lock there.

Also, this commit makes tuple_update()/tuple_delete() optionally save the old
tuple into the dedicated slot.  That saves efforts on re-fetching tuples in
certain cases.

The code in nodeModifyTable.c is simplified by removing the nested switch/case.

Discussion: https://postgr.es/m/CAPpHfdua-YFw3XTprfutzGp28xXLigFtzNbuFY8yPhqeq6X5kg%40mail.gmail.com
Reviewed-by: Aleksander Alekseev, Pavel Borisov, Vignesh C, Mason Sharp
Reviewed-by: Andres Freund, Chris Travers