meson: Add dependency lookups via names used by cmake

meson: Add dependency lookups via names used by cmake

Particularly on windows it's useful to look up dependencies via cmake, instead
of pkg-config. Meson supports doing so. Unfortunately the dependency names
used by various projects often differs between their pkg-config and cmake
files.

This would look a lot neater if we could rely on meson >= 0.60.0...

Reviewed-by: Tristan Partin <tristan@partin.io>
Discussion: https://postgr.es/m/20240709065101.xhc74r3mdg2lmn4w@awork3.anarazel.de
Backpatch: 16-, where meson support was added